Society

A SINGLE woman is convinced her coupled-up friends cannot wait to hear the latest instalment of the crazy rollercoaster that is her love life.

CHRISTMAS is coming and capitalism demands tribute, so it’s time for parents to dig deep and queue for eight hours for this year’s must-have toys.

A MAN is much happier after getting a well-paid job on a dubious survey into the nation’s ‘wellbeing’, he has revealed.

A COUPLE who moved from London to Bristol are talking as if they’ve done something extremely brave.

PEOPLE who have already finished their Christmas shopping have been told that they are the ones who are somehow deficient.

A WOMAN is attempting to get away with being a bellend by claiming it’s because she is a Gemini, it has emerged.

THE Living Wage is to be renamed to reflect a world where broadband coats £38 a month and fags are a tenner.

A MAN has received absolutely no help from the government with his plan to stop paying tax.

WOMAN are very safe in Games Workshop, it has been confirmed.

A WOMAN is celebrating after getting her first targeted internet adverts for bladder-related products.