Society

SCIENTISTS have confirmed that anyone who refers to themselves as ‘a bit of a bad boy' is a prick.

A BABY born well after the turn of the millennium is old enough to drive a fucking car, it has emerged.

A POSH family has been left devastated by a bad review from their latest Airbnb host.

A HEARTFELT Facebook status update has been quickly scanned to see if the poster was saying anything important or just after a bit of attention.

PEOPLE who make a point of drinking out of wine glasses the size of fish bowls are the smuggest bastards of all, it has been confirmed.

A MAN owns an extra car that he claims to drive for ‘fun’, it has emerged.

TWO stoned guys have concluded there probably is some sort of God out there but that all religions are nonsense.

A FRIEND who has a stable marriage, two happy children, a fulfilling high-earning career, a big house and an expensive car believes it makes him superior to you.

A MATURE student returning to university to take a second degree is already loathed by his fellow students and tutors alike, they have confirmed.

LEADERS of the Year Nine rebel insurgency have announced significant gains in its war against a keen new teacher.