Society

A MAN who wore a pair of glittery leggings at a festival thinks he’s a daring gender pioneer rather than a stereotypical arse.

A WOMAN who just wanted an Egg McMuffin on the train to work is having a bad day, it has been confirmed.

A WORKER is pretending to spend a whole day deleting emails after a two-week holiday.

A BOY about to start secondary school is sure it will be like Hogwarts from the Harry Potter books.

A STUDENT has unveiled plans to quit university and focus on different methods of amassing a huge amount of debt.

A NEW mother has committed the unforgivable crime of admitting to others she is not a sobbing wreck.

A WOMAN is distraught after finding out her new partner is into wanky necklaces and bracelets, she has revealed.

IT IS no longer possible to buy a burger you can fit in your mouth, it has been confirmed.

SCHOOLCHILDREN have been ordered to get their uniforms on and stand against a door to be photographed.

A FATHER-OF-TWO is probably lying when he tells people having children is the best thing that has ever happened to him.