Society

A MILLENNIAL man is the envy of his peers after revealing he has an incredible 30 per cent of his monthly income left after paying his rent.

A WOMAN dating three different men simultaneously is finding it an organisational nightmare, she has confirmed.

EXPERTS cannot work out why anyone would buy a small, expensive bottle of beer in a pub.

A COUPLE who have chosen Disneyland Paris as their wedding venue are probably not prepared for the reality of actual marriage, friends have agreed.  

A FEEBLE loser has announced plans to run a pathetic 13 miles to derision from his friends, family and colleagues.

CENTER Parcs is heaven for people who voted Leave, it has been confirmed.

A WOMAN who claims to be highly critical of herself has decided she is doing brilliantly.

A FRESHER has been given a free condom that will stay in his pocket throughout university.

A MIDDLE-AGED man is very upset after being teased about having a cheap bike.

HOUSE prices in London have slumped because the city is an awful consumerist nightmare, it has been claimed.