Society

TWO laptop users have died in a brawl over the only remaining power source in a coffee shop.

MIGRANTS have reminded Britain that they do pretty much all the work.

THROWING a turd out of a window, then retrieving it, then being rescued by firemen, is now considered romantic. 

A MAN has been sharing ‘secret’ information from conspiracy websites that are clearly bullshit.

AN organisation that arms people and then gives them orders that must be followed without question may not be producing hippies, it has emerged.

AN OBVIOUSLY mad colleague has suggested doing less work in exchange for having less money and things.

A MAN who wore a pair of glittery leggings at a festival thinks he’s a daring gender pioneer rather than a stereotypical arse.

A WOMAN who just wanted an Egg McMuffin on the train to work is having a bad day, it has been confirmed.

A WORKER is pretending to spend a whole day deleting emails after a two-week holiday.

A BOY about to start secondary school is sure it will be like Hogwarts from the Harry Potter books.