Society

THE number of nunchucks in British homes is at its lowest level since the 1960s, according to new research.

A GROUP of London media types are having an absolute nightmare in a rural pub, it has been revealed.

PEOPLE of above-average height have declared their intention to stand in the very front row at all times.

A FATHER of three has admitted to deliberately staying late in the office so he will not have to endure the utter hell of eating dinner with his family.

UK schools are treating themselves to luxuries like pens, textbooks and buckets to catch leaks after receiving a Budget windfall from the government.

A MOTORIST has solemnly promised the van driver who cut him up that this time he really will ruin his life.

A WOMAN is waiting patiently for you to enter the toilet in Starbucks just so she can let you know that other people would like to use it at some point.

THE BBC is under fire after claiming Britain ‘could not cope’ with a Glaswegian Dalek.

A BABY attending his first wedding is looking forward to causing total carnage.

AN ingenious graduate has hatched a plan to avoid repaying his student loan by never earning a decent wage.