Society

A STUDENT has unveiled plans to quit university and focus on different methods of amassing a huge amount of debt.

A NEW mother has committed the unforgivable crime of admitting to others she is not a sobbing wreck.

A WOMAN is distraught after finding out her new partner is into wanky necklaces and bracelets, she has revealed.

IT IS no longer possible to buy a burger you can fit in your mouth, it has been confirmed.

SCHOOLCHILDREN have been ordered to get their uniforms on and stand against a door to be photographed.

A FATHER-OF-TWO is probably lying when he tells people having children is the best thing that has ever happened to him.

COMMUTERS attempting to use Waterloo station have been loaded into containers and shipped 4,200 miles away.  

TELLING friends you are nipping to the bar then getting a taxi home instead is the best part of going out, it has been confirmed.

A MAN'S plan for a 'Bank Holiday getaway' has been ruined after his wife and children decided to tag along.

A MILLENNIAL has been reduced to a state of panic after discovering he had a voicemail.