Society

A WOMAN who just wanted an Egg McMuffin on the train to work is having a bad day, it has been confirmed.

A WORKER is pretending to spend a whole day deleting emails after a two-week holiday.

A BOY about to start secondary school is sure it will be like Hogwarts from the Harry Potter books.

A STUDENT has unveiled plans to quit university and focus on different methods of amassing a huge amount of debt.

A NEW mother has committed the unforgivable crime of admitting to others she is not a sobbing wreck.

A WOMAN is distraught after finding out her new partner is into wanky necklaces and bracelets, she has revealed.

IT IS no longer possible to buy a burger you can fit in your mouth, it has been confirmed.

SCHOOLCHILDREN have been ordered to get their uniforms on and stand against a door to be photographed.

A FATHER-OF-TWO is probably lying when he tells people having children is the best thing that has ever happened to him.

COMMUTERS attempting to use Waterloo station have been loaded into containers and shipped 4,200 miles away.