Society

A NEW couple have experimented with quirky pet names for each other that are absolutely dreadful.

BRITONS are relieved to discover that life will continue in its everyday state of raging incompetence and chaos.

PARENTS of young adults across Britain have been acting sheepishly this week, it has been confirmed.

A MUM with passive aggressive tendencies has become a nan who will constantly judge her daughter's parenting.

A GROUP talking and laughing in a restaurant is making everyone else's meal a living hell, it has emerged.

A MAN believes his job is secure, it has emerged.

A GRANDMOTHER couldn't resist re-folding crumpled t-shirts during a visit to HMV, it has emerged.

A COUPLE are helping their children become annoying property-obsessed twats just like themselves, they have revealed.

A MAN with a large 4x4 and a Koi carp pond in his garden has insisted that paying a penny more in tax will cripple him.

A 37- YEAR-OLD man with a mortgage and a child on the way is still telling people what he wants to do when he grows up.