Society

A NEW mum and a pothead have bonded over having red eyes and feeling divorced from reality, it has emerged.

A PASSENGER has been refused boarding to her flight to Malta because she has not bought enough perfume, sunglasses or Toblerones.

TWO idealistic parents have reneged on their pledge to raise their child without screens after 78 seconds of spirited resistance.

TWO children have agreed that they pick up all the most useful phrases when Daddy is driving them to school.

A COUPLE have admitted they may have too much spare cash after deciding to refurbish their shower room for the third time in 10 years.

FACEBOOK needs to stop telling people how long they have been friends on Facebook, because no-one gives a shit, it has been confirmed.

THE number of nunchucks in British homes is at its lowest level since the 1960s, according to new research.

A GROUP of London media types are having an absolute nightmare in a rural pub, it has been revealed.

PEOPLE of above-average height have declared their intention to stand in the very front row at all times.

A FATHER of three has admitted to deliberately staying late in the office so he will not have to endure the utter hell of eating dinner with his family.