Society

A WOMAN who just wants attention has described how having a baby made her fanny go weird.

A CHILD'S application to have his drawing pinned to an expensive new fridge has been rejected.

A GROUP of people were able to drink heavily outdoors without stigma by taking a small amount of food and calling it a picnic, they have revealed.

A GROUP of arseholes has announced plans to go the pub where all the arseholes go.

ANYONE aged 30 or over is having difficulty accepting that school leavers now get to go to a big prom, they have confirmed.

THE normalisation of the weather has caused an upsurge in verbal twattery, experts have warned.

MOST Britons believe in stupid contradictory bullshit that is impossible to analyse, a survey has found.

MOST Britons cannot possibly have just one drink, researchers have confirmed.

A CAT is incandescent with rage after his finely-honed hunting instincts failed to detect a man walking up behind him.

AN idiot is moments away from placing a glass of red wine on her friend's carpet, it has been confirmed.