Society

OXFORD University has defended its admissions policy by saying it is powerless to take black students when they have not been educated at Eton.

A CAT visited the house where he used to live only to be met with hostility.

A MAN’S actual mates have been left confused after he said his new wife is his best friend.  

A MAN who is into Buddhism has incredible difficulty explaining what it is, people have noticed.

SCUMBAG parents with no intention of buying animals have been told to stop bringing their bloody kids to Pets At Home.

A WOMAN’S latest boyfriend does not match the glowing description she gave to friends, it has emerged.

A MAN meeting his new girlfriend’s mates for the first time is unaware of the extensive knowledge they already have about him.

A NORTHERN man has shocked colleagues by expressing a preference for fancy coffee over a large mug of very strong tea.

A GROUP of teens staying at an isolated location have realised it is Friday October 13th and are resigned to their inevitable murders.