Society

FACEBOOK'S incessant notifications and requests have made it more demanding than a baby that has just soiled itself, experts have confirmed.

A MAN has decided against telling a builder working at his house an interesting fact about the size of England.

A PROFESSIONAL couple are studying school catchment areas in a highly strategic manner.

A COMPANY'S new recruit is really quite something when it comes to ingratiating himself with bosses, everyone has noticed.

A HOMELESS man has confirmed that the brief conversation he had with a well-meaning student will be on Facebook within the hour.  

A COUPLE who made a large profit on their house have realised they now need to buy another one that is equally expensive.

A CYCLIST who considers himself a warrior of the road announces his presence with the sound of a Disney fairy’s magic wand.

A GROUP of freshers from around the UK are amazed at the many regional words they have for bread buns, baps, rolls or muffins.

SCIENTISTS have confirmed that anyone who refers to themselves as ‘a bit of a bad boy' is a prick.

A BABY born well after the turn of the millennium is old enough to drive a fucking car, it has emerged.