Society

Jobseekers to face sanctions if they don't appear in Channel 5 documentaries 


PEOPLE claiming benefits are to face sanctions if they do not appear in a Channel 5 documentary about unemployed people.

Today is the perfect day to crap on the carpet, decides dog

A NEW carpet has given a family dog a fresh sense of purpose in life, it has emerged.

Reluctant locals forced to participate in cheese rolling

UNWILLING Gloucestershire residents have been made to chase a wheel of cheese down a hill by Londoners wanting to see authentic rural life.

We’ve been hurt so bad before, voters tell polls

THE UK electorate wants to trust but is still carrying emotional baggage from its bad experiences with polls in the past, it has admitted.

Woman instantly regrets telling square colleagues about time she got really pissed

A WOMAN seems like an alcoholic after relating a mildly debauched anecdote to colleagues, she has realised.

Man who despises May still a bit concerned about her

A MAN who despises everything Theresa May stands for has found himself strangely worried about her wellbeing.

Londoner who gave directions to stranger experiences thrill of human connection

A LONDONER who helped a woman find her way to a hospital appointment is still reeling from the intense power of human interaction.

Scientists discover couple caught in endless ‘I don’t mind, you decide’ loop

A COUPLE are at risk of starving to death after becoming tangled in an 'infinite non-decision loop' over what to have for dinner.

Train passengers vow revenge on woman who asked them to move up a bit

A WOMAN who asked fellow train passengers to 'move up a bit' has become the subject of intense, lifelong hatred by several complete strangers.

Idiot really chuffed with his sunburn

AN idiot has proclaimed his sunburn to be some sort of achievement.