Society

UK schools are treating themselves to luxuries like pens, textbooks and buckets to catch leaks after receiving a Budget windfall from the government.

A MOTORIST has solemnly promised the van driver who cut him up that this time he really will ruin his life.

A WOMAN is waiting patiently for you to enter the toilet in Starbucks just so she can let you know that other people would like to use it at some point.

THE BBC is under fire after claiming Britain ‘could not cope’ with a Glaswegian Dalek.

A BABY attending his first wedding is looking forward to causing total carnage.

AN ingenious graduate has hatched a plan to avoid repaying his student loan by never earning a decent wage.

BRITAIN was cheered yesterday as a man on a skateboard fell hard on his face while trying to ‘ollie’ up a kerb.

TWO shoppers have become trapped in the doorway of their local Waitrose with both insisting the other goes through first.

ADULTS who think it is quirky and fun to use words like ‘sleeps’ and ‘holibobs’ have been told to just stop it.

A MAN is trying to find the courage to urinate between two strangers.