Society

Guests reminded that fairly shit meal took ages to cook

A DINNER party host has explained how a bland meal took a ridiculous amount of time to cook.

Generous act roundly condemned

A MAN who tried to help someone has been comprehensively mocked and criticised for it.

Woman completes ‘colouring in’ book then burns it in garden

A 32-YEAR-OLD woman has coloured in a book of pictures, then had a moment of clarity and burned it.

Richest one per cent have 99 per cent of the world's dark secrets

THE world’s wealthiest one per cent also have most of the dark, messed-up secrets, it has emerged.

Toddler strangely not into pub

A COUPLE are baffled as to why their three-year-old child did not enjoy a trip to the pub.

Half-a-million primary school pupils taught in single class

APPROXIMATELY 500,000 six-year-olds are being taught in a single class by a harassed and distracted teacher.

Entire nation standing far too close to the radiator

EVERYONE in Britain is standing so close to the radiator that it hurts.

Colleague traumatised by honest answer to trite, rhetorical question

A WOMAN has caused fear and panic in her workplace after answering the question “How are you?” with the truth.

Sink estate residents to be re-housed in underground tunnel network

DAVID Cameron has revealed that residents of demolished council estates will be re-housed in a vast network of underground tunnels.

Friendly hug 'turned a bit creepy'

A HUG became creepy after going on too long with an element of hair-touching, it has emerged.