Society

BRITAIN will become a fully-integrated society when everyone can express their mutual contempt in the same language, Ed Miliband has claimed.

EXPERTS are urging Britons to start preparing their Christmas arguments no later than 5pm today.

THE success of Bavarian-style Christmas markets is due to a phenomenon that makes crud desirable when placed in a rustic-looking shed.

PEOPLE who fall over often feel a deep sense of humiliation, it has been claimed.

PEOPLE who see themselves as 'spiritual' are to planning mark Christmas in a non-relgious but still irritating fashion.

CAMPAIGNERS against gay rights have a quaint, old world charm, say experts.

AS energy costs spiral, householders are relying on alcohol to get a warm feeling.

MOST events, objects and people are actually some sort of viral advertisement, it has emerged.

THE number of white people in Britain has reached an all-time low of seven, it has been claimed.