Society

RESEARCHERS studying the habits of ginger-haired Scots have admitted it is a suicide mission.

MILLIONS of Britons are prepared to mark the passing of would-be space traveller Guy Fawkes, who strapped himself to a rocket in 1605.

THE arrival of porridge has signalled that everything in the UK will be dreadful for months.

THOUSANDS of costumed children and their parents are under the mistaken impression that England is America, it has emerged.

WORKING in an office will be the most fear-inducing thing about this Halloween, according to millions of Britons.

PRISON inmates have set up their own political party in preparation for getting the vote.

NEWLY-EMERGED presidential candidate Boris Johnson has surged ahead in US opinion polls, and should soon be running the world.