Society

MOST events, objects and people are actually some sort of viral advertisement, it has emerged.

THE number of white people in Britain has reached an all-time low of seven, it has been claimed.

NEW legal measures would make it illegal for newspapers to break the law.

A MASSIVELY important thing was decided yesterday while Gmail users were offline.

DETECTIVES investigating the Jimmy Savile scandal have promised a cliffhanger arrest on Christmas Eve.

PARENTS who experienced rave culture are increasingly concerned about their children's low intake of Class A drugs.

THERE have been sightings of a man walking around in f**king shorts.

CANNABIS should be legalised for Tories who are frightened of the gayness, MPs have claimed.

STARGAZER Patrick Moore will be remembered an astrologer, because a lot of people are not very bright.

BRITAIN is unsuitable for human life, it has been confirmed.