Society

BRITAIN'S middle classes are threatening all-out passive-aggression if the government raises tax on all the nice things they like.

THOUSANDS of farmers are using Facebook to play a game where they pretend to work in an office and spend all day doing nothing and talking out of their arse.

OH shit, there's a fucking bee in here, it was confirmed last night.

IMAGES of male beauty in the media are forcing men to make a grudging effort to look half-decent.

NURSERY school children will no longer be allowed to bite chunks out of each under new rules introduced today.

YOUNG would-be homebuyers are still clinging to their nauseatingly rose-tinted hopes and dreams, it was claimed last night.

THE UK's oldest dogging site has been re-opened by the National Trust, with interactive stranger sex displays and cakes.

FOUR out of five people in Britain have named their hire-purchase widescreen television in their will, according to a new study.

BRITAIN finally hurtled beyond the point of no return last night as the political opinions of Simon Cowell were regarded as important.

TORCHWOOD actor John Barrowman's demonic homosexuality last night scored an effortless victory over the power of prayer.