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Whatever The Question, The Answer Is Broccoli
BROCCOLI is now the answer to any question you care to throw at it, according to new research.
Your vagina is not a kitchen, women told
WOMEN who want to redesign their front bottom were last night reminded that it's not actually a kitchen.
Kelly To Spend More Time With Spikey Chain Thing
OPUS Dei transport secretary Ruth Kelly is to resign from the cabinet to spend more time with that spikey chain thing they strap round the top of their thighs.
Live Coverage Of Brown's Final Conference Speech - Live!
ONCE again, the Daily Mash books you a front row seat to history in the actual making. Today Gordon Brown delivers his last ever speech to a Labour conference. Will it be really great, or will everyone start shouting 'get off, you jowly freak'? We'll bring you minute by minute highlights as we try to stay with it, all the way through to the end...
Your Astrological Week Ahead
WITH PSYCHIC BOB
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
Interruptions are making it impossible for you to have a meaningful conversation with someone you're dying to impress. Tell them to shut the fuck up and listen.
Darling To Kickstart Economy With 30 Million One Pound Coins
ALISTAIR Darling is to boost Britain's faltering economy by giving 30 million one pound coins to poor people.
Women Blame Nightmares On Rectal Gas
SLEEPING next to 18 stone of relentlessly guffing middle-aged water buffalo can cause nightmares, research suggests.
Fuck That, Say New Men
NEW men last night said fuck this for game of soldiers and ordered their wives to make the bloody tea.