HAS your lovely holiday weather been brought to an end by a huge storm? Here’s eight things to do until it’s over.
BRITAIN’S biggest problem is not coronavirus or Brexit but the bastards who educate small children, the government has confirmed.
HAVE you ever wondered where your retired parents find their extreme right-wing talking points?
EXPERTS have warned Britain to prepare for intense periods of mindless chatter about the weather when the heatwave breaks.
AN A-LEVEL student has admitted he is on tenterhooks to find out what his teachers took a wild guess at his results being.
PUBLIC sex with strangers is nothing to be ashamed of, but class differences can still make the atmosphere in the car park rather awkward.
A WOMAN capable of finding wonder in all life’s hidden gifts is an absolutely unbearable tosspot.
A MIDDLE-AGED man has decided that his face mask and an 8ft plastic screen are no barrier to chatting up a checkout girl in Tesco.
A WASP has entered a living room in the confident expectation that everyone there will be really pleased to see it.
THE ponciest areas of London are to be placed in permanent lockdown, it has been confirmed.
YOU don’t get to choose your colleagues or your children but this year you’ve had to work with both. Which are more irritating?
TRYING to cut down on carbs? Prepare these meals, eat them, feel sad and open a family bag of Monster Munch to weep into anyway.