School kid who didn't revise and prayed for a miracle scared of his own powers

A SCHOOLBOY who asked for divine intervention to get out of his GCSEs is in terrified awe of the trouble he has created.

Pub fruit machine dreamt of being vending machine in leisure centre

A FRUIT machine in a Hull pub never wanted to end up like this, it has admitted.

Meghan to embrace British culture by carrying large inflatable cock on hen night

MEGHAN Markle will show her commitment to Britain by carrying around an inflatable penis on her hen night.  

Git of the Year

IT is quite simple, there is a list of gits and you vote for one.

Lord Lucan 'just on gap year'

POLICE are exploring the possibility that Lord Lucan, who disappeared in 1974 following the murder of his children’s nanny, may simply be on an extended gap year.

Murdoch tears hole in the fabric of honesty

JAMES Murdoch has caused the very nature of veracity to collapse in on itself after giving evidence to MPs.

Police Threaten To Stop Shooting Brazilians In The Face

POLICE are threatening an immediate halt to all Brazilian face-shootings as part of their ongoing pay row with the government.

Diana Assassin 'Did Not Seem Intent On Murder'

THE MI6 assassin who killed Diana, Princess of Wales did not seem intent on murder just hours before her fatal crash, her inquest has been told. 

Canoeist Charged With Being An Arse

SUSPECTED canoeist John Darwin appeared before magistrates this morning charged with three counts of being a complete arse.