DO you think it’s only fair that your kids should suffer through the films that traumatised you as a child?
CHILDREN are unexpectedly appearing at the school gates with a full year’s worth of books, artwork, homework and all the other crap, parents have confirmed.
MET someone who believes ‘gin o’clock!’ is the last word in wit? What a great timesaver to discovering they’re a tedious c*ck. Watch out for these:
A TRACTOR driver holding up a long queue of traffic on an A-road has admitted he is absolutely f**king loving it.
A POP psychology book has really helped a woman unburden herself of her trivial, tedious problems to everyone she meets.
IS telling someone non-white to go back to their own country, as President Trump did, racist or are you seriously asking that question?
AN office worker has taken a much needed day off for rest and relaxation within the confines of his office.
VEGAN cheese has been cast back into the hell from which it was spawned from, exorcists have confirmed.
JD Wetherspoons has confirmed that it will be removing all foreign drinks from its pubs and replacing them with proper British bags of sniffing glue.
A COUPLE who are strict vegans, wear upcycled clothing and go on holiday by train have realised their marriage is toxic and disposable.
FILLED with hate? Directing it at vulnerable targets? You could be a neo-Nazi, or you could be kicking out at the world because Darren Jackson always got picked before you at football.
SPENDING thousands on a fancy summer holiday but worried about being looked down on by your sanctimonious friends? Here’s how to get away with it.