Woman angry Bodyguard didn't include all the clever twists she thought of

A WOMAN has attacked the BBC after thriller Bodyguard left out all the clever twists she had come up with over the last week. 

Everyone had forgotten this country is freezing cold most of the time

EVERYONE had forgotten England is generally absolutely freezing, it has emerged.

Man laughing at old photos of himself unaware he's still a twat

A MAN has been laughing at old photos of himself, completely unaware he is still an utter twat.  

32-year-old hopes he loses interest in music soon

A 32-YEAR-OLD man hopes he reaches the fabled cut-off point where you stop listening to new music soon, because he has had enough of it.

Parents prepare toddler for life by buying him a little toy cubicle

A COUPLE are preparing their toddler for adulthood by buying him a tiny grey cubicle to sit in all day, it has emerged.

Woman discovers #metoo not for just general agreement

A WOMAN has discovered that the Twitter hashtag '#metoo' is not meant for just generally agreeing with things.

Judgmental dads secretly jealous of lazy arsehole dad

A GROUP of committed fathers who love to judge rival parents are all privately jealous of the father who does absolutely nothing, they have admitted.

Man constantly barked at by dogs wonders if he is evil

A MAN who has been barked at by terrified dogs every time they see him for 15 years is wondering if he is actually the Antichrist.