News

Man following recipe on foodie blog just wants the f**king measurements please

A MAN trying to make a basic lasagne from a woman's blog had to read her entire life story before getting to the actual recipe.

What to talk about now you can't go on a lavishly expensive holiday this year

DO you usually base 90 per cent of your conversations around your ludicrously expensive holiday plans? Here’s what to show off about in 2020 instead.

Couple excited to invite friends round for a drink and a piss in their garden

A COUPLE are looking forward to lockdown easing enough to have friends over for a drink in their garden and a wee behind the shed.

Man interrupts woman to say he's a feminist

A MAN has interrupted a woman mid-sentence to remind her that he supports equal rights for women.

Daily walks are boring as shit, admit Britons

PEOPLE in Britain have admitted that their daily walks are really f**king boring now.

Everyday things now massive pain in the arse

TINY things are now a giant faff, Britons have realised as lockdown begins to ease.

Man discovered alive after five years off social media

A MAN presumed to be dead after losing interest in social media in 2015 has been discovered alive and well and living in Colchester.

Mum drops off kids 72 hours early for reopening of school

A DILIGENT mother-of-two has left her children at the school gates a full three days before their new term starts on Monday.

UK running out of ways to f**k this up

BRITAIN is quickly running out of ways to f**k up its handling of the coronavirus, according to experts.

Six things to do with exactly six friends

NOW that we’re allowed to meet in groups of six, you’re probably wondering - what can I do with exactly five other people? Here are some excellent suggestions.

Men happy to avoid talking to barbers

MEN are continuing to enjoy not having to make small talk with their barbers on a monthly basis.

Five things your partner's distant stare could mean

DOES your partner stare into the distance and say they’re fine, but in a worrying way? Here are five things that could be causing it.