Woman discovers #metoo not for just general agreement

A WOMAN has discovered that the Twitter hashtag '#metoo' is not meant for just generally agreeing with things.

Judgmental dads secretly jealous of lazy arsehole dad

A GROUP of committed fathers who love to judge rival parents are all privately jealous of the father who does absolutely nothing, they have admitted.

Man constantly barked at by dogs wonders if he is evil

A MAN who has been barked at by terrified dogs every time they see him for 15 years is wondering if he is actually the Antichrist.

Is this the worst hangover you’ve ever had, or have you woken up in Burnley?

LAST night was a heavy one. But are these overwhelming feelings of pain, sickness and despair you’re feeling alcohol-induced, or have you awoken in the Lancashire town of Burnley?

Things described as 'rustic' generally shit

THINGS that are old, tatty or just total crap are being made to sound desirable by describing them as ‘rustic’.

How are people judging you because of your funny regional accent?

DOES that West Country twang make people think you’re as sexy as the Cadbury Caramel bunny, or a comedy bumpkin off The Two Ronnies? Find out with our guide.

It's not 'treating yourself' if you do it all the time, say experts

CONSTANTLY treating yourself is not actually treating yourself, it is just what you do, scientists have confirmed.

Couple admit they want 'no kids' wedding because they'll f***ing ruin it

A COUPLE have decided to be brutally honest about not wanting a load of little bastards at their wedding.