Politics

EVERY single one of the UK’s 17.4 million Leave voters is to get a tax-free lump sum of £1,000 to spend on chips.

EVERYONE has agreed to quietly sweep the referendum result under the carpet, it has been confirmed.

ARE you the sort of left-winger who’s stuck in a 1970s timewarp of revolutionary rhetoric and an obsession with Israel? Take our quiz and find out.

A LEAVE supporter cannot remember if he is actually against Britain’s EU membership or if he just says he is to wind up Remainers.

TOMMY Robinson has confirmed that, while he has been banned from Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, he continues to be available in his shed.

THE UK has agreed that the fucking meerkat from those bollocks website adverts would do a better job of Brexit than Theresa May.

A SECOND Brexit referendum could leave Britain hopelessly divided in bitter, entrenched opposition, warn idiots who have noticed nothing since 2016.

THERESA May has had a classic anxiety dream in which she totally failed to do any preparation for Brexit, she has revealed.

HAVE you completely abandoned sense and reason over Brexit? Find out how you rate on the ‘Brexit thickness scale’ by seeing if you hold any of these views.

MEMBERS of the Independent Group have discovered that now they no longer have their parties to moan about they really fucking hate each other.