Politics

DAVID Cameron only moved off his sofa yesterday to go to the fridge, he confirmed.

A VOTER who would in theory cheer on a female prime minister would prefer one who did not hate us.

MICHAEL Gove is to stand as Tory leader on the basis that he will betray absolutely anyone without a second’s hesitation. 

JEREMY Corbyn has admitted he does not understand why everyone is suddenly resigning just because they are hopelessly incompetent.

MILLIONS of Britons are furious that they were allowed to vote on leaving the EU, they have announced.

JEREMY Corbyn has denied 'malicious' claims that he is leader of the Labour Party.

DAVID Cameron has confirmed that he well and truly fucked that up.

YOU are responsible for the overwhelming happiness of this man, Britain has been told.

THE referendum ballot paper includes an option for voters whose priority is not upsetting their friends, officials have explained.

BRITAIN faces a tumultuous decision today because of a relatively small number of annoying, obsessive twats, experts have confirmed.