Politics

Gove running on betrayal ticket

MICHAEL Gove is to stand as Tory leader on the basis that he will betray absolutely anyone without a second’s hesitation. 

Corbyn baffled by all these incompetency resignations

JEREMY Corbyn has admitted he does not understand why everyone is suddenly resigning just because they are hopelessly incompetent.

Britons slam government for letting them vote

MILLIONS of Britons are furious that they were allowed to vote on leaving the EU, they have announced.

Corbyn denies rumour that he is leader of the Labour Party

JEREMY Corbyn has denied 'malicious' claims that he is leader of the Labour Party.

‘Well, I f**ked that up, didn’t I?’’ says Cameron

DAVID Cameron has confirmed that he well and truly fucked that up.

You have made this man happy

YOU are responsible for the overwhelming happiness of this man, Britain has been told.

Referendum includes ‘what your mates think’ option

THE referendum ballot paper includes an option for voters whose priority is not upsetting their friends, officials have explained.

Britain in historic vote that only a handful of twats wanted in the first place

BRITAIN faces a tumultuous decision today because of a relatively small number of annoying, obsessive twats, experts have confirmed.

Local man to front 'Don't Know' campaign

FATHER-OF-TWO Tom Logan is to front the 'Don't Know' campaign, it has emerged.

Re-using Nazi propaganda 'good for the environment', says Farage

RECYCLING propaganda images from the Nazis is the environmentally responsible thing to do, says Nigel Farage.