Features

Would you die for heavy metal? Take the test...

HEAVY metal. We all love it but only the brave few would lay their lives on the line for it. Are you one of them?

Are you angry about some stupid bullshit?

COMPARED to most people in the world, you're wealthy and life is easy. But you still like to make some shit up in your head sometimes and then get angry about it. So let's see how...

What do Prince Archie's feet tell us about the future?

HARRY and Meghan have treated the public to a cherished glimpse of feet. But what does this astonishing photograph tell us about our destiny?

What sort of tiresome Farage-supporting twat are you?

ARE you determined to support obvious chancer Nigel Farage due to your tedious obsession with Brexit?Read our guide to find out what sort of twat you are.

How to build your baby bullshit bunker

THE Daily Mash presents a step-by-step guide to hiding out until the madness has passed.

Why watching snooker all day is better than a spa weekend

THE snooker’s on and some people claim it’s a complete waste of time, but they’re full of shit.

Farage's guide to non-EU holiday destinations

YOU’VE been looking for an excuse not to go to France or Italy and luckily Brexit has made the decision for you. You're welcome. But where to go instead?  

A guide to who the f**k's who in the latest Avengers thing

THE superhero event movie of the decade is here, but who the fuck are all these people and what the fuck are they doing?’

'I am launching a Facebook Fundraiser to remind you I'm nice'

I HAVE always believed that raising money for some charity or other is so important.

How to train properly for the London marathon

YOU'VE broken in your trainers, you’ve learnt the meaning of iliotibial band, now as the London Marathon approaches, here are the only training tips that could possibly matter.

Are you in a sham marriage or is your marriage a sham?

SHAM marriages are usually done to secure citizenship in the UK and are illegal, while marriages that are just a bit of a sham are a lot more commonplace and somehow not illegal. But which one are you in?

Could Thatcher's ghost sort out Brexit?

MARGARET Thatcher is now long dead but what if her spirit was contacted during a séance on a wet weekday afternoon in a parlour in Surrey?