Food

A WOMAN who has only recently become a vegan is getting ready to shit on every angle of Christmas and spoil it for her poor, innocent family.

A WOMAN who bought an orange and praline pumpkin-spiced latte is experiencing intense remorse and lactose-induced bloating.

A SILENT tribute has been paid to a freshly made cup of tea that was tragically abandoned to go cold and undrinkable.

EVERYONE likes a cup of coffee in the morning, and then a further 13 or so at 45-minute intervals throughout the day to quell the shakes, but how many is too many?

CREATORS of a vegetarian burger that ‘bleeds’ are confident that meat-hating vegans are going to love it.

A MIDDLE-CLASS man has levelled up with the acquisition of his very own sourdough starter.

A WOMAN is planning a simple, nutritious kitchen supper of a carrot soup and a full loaf of bread.

A VEGAN spends 90 per cent of his waking hours policing other vegans for dietary infractions, he has confirmed.

DO you desperately want to believe you can outwit fast food restaurants with secret ‘hacks’? Here are some amazing ones that definitely aren’t bollocks.

GUESTS at a dinner party are bitterly rueing their host’s reckless decision to make this one ‘booze-free for a change’.