Food

A WOMAN has been under the delusion she was friends with an upper middle-class couple only to discover they just like eating olives.

SMALL plates should never have been allowed and must stop now, restaurants have been told.

BRITAIN’S men are feeling oppressed by having to order steaks with loads of blood in order to look manly.

A MAN has asked his daughter, who has been a vegetarian since she was 15 and is now 30, if she is “still not eating meat”.

VEGAN cheese has been cast back into the hell from which it was spawned from, exorcists have confirmed.

BABIES have demanded food that tastes as delicious as the TV remote controls they love to stuff into their mouths.

RESTAURANT customers have told waiters not to waste their time asking if they would like to see the dessert menu because the answer is always yes.

DO you sometimes go to the supermarket under the influence of too much alcohol? Here’s how to successfully shop while shitfaced:

MINIATURE versions of normally larger food items are superior in every way, consumers have confirmed.

WANT to spunk a load of money up the wall on fancy venison steaks just to char them to inedibility? Follow this guide: