Food

TESCO is getting rid of ‘best before’ dates on fruit and vegetables because they are all made up by a bloke in packaging anyway.

AN embarrassed mother-of-two is anxiously replaying the brie-fuelled conversations about house prices and grammar schools she had at a dinner party last night.

A MAN recovering from a hangover has discovered he can eat a superhuman amount of food without becoming full.

HEINZ has gone back on its decision to rebrand Salad Cream as 'Weird Sweet Goopy Shit', a name thought to appeal more to millennials.

DO YOU prefer disgusting synthetic milk to the normal kind? Here’s what your alternative milk choice says about you.

A WOMAN who gained access to the toilets at Starbucks without a purchase has been recruited by the UK’s security services.

THE international body regulating the worldwide production and sale of tofu have called an urgent summit to solve the mystery of tofu.

HAVING breakfast in bed is not actually enjoyable and just involves lots of discomfort and mess, it has been confirmed.

A 55-YEAR-OLD reading the newspaper over a full cooked breakfast has renewed his commitment to discovering what a carb is.

MOST group visits to a restaurant include some git who wants to have a bit of other people’s meals, research has confirmed.