Media

Workers’ cafe has untouched copy of Guardian

A LOCAL cafe has a copy of today’s Guardian that will remain forever untouched by human hands.

Britain almost starting to feel pity for Kelvin McKenzie

BRITAIN is almost at the stage where it could imagine feeling pity instead of visceral loathing for Kelvin McKenzie.

Daily Mail and Guardian discover they have the same father

THE Daily Mail and the Guardian have discovered that they share a biological father.

Man seeks court order letting everyone know he’s had a threesome

A 29-YEAR-OLD British man has filed for an injunction requiring the media to report that he has previously enjoyed an extremely successful threesome.

Nation rejoices as tyranny of free BBC recipes ends

THE UK is celebrating in the streets after the BBC’s evil reign over internet recipes has been ended. 

BBC dumped Tories in 1996

THE BBC has told the Conservative Party to get over that time they dated back in 1996.

Liverpool is not a real place, claims Rupert Murdoch

LIVERPOOL is an entirely fictional city, Rupert Murdoch has insisted.

Yahoo! feeling a bit like Poland in 1939

EXECUTIVES at Yahoo! have revealed a strong affinity with Poland in September 1939.

Britain profoundly insulted by April Fools' stories

THE UK has been deeply insulted by today's 'media pranks'.

Local newspaper pretending to be important part of community

A DIRE local newspaper claims to be a vital and much-loved part of the local community, it has emerged.