Society

PARENTS have been given end-of-term gifts of wine and chocolates by teachers to show their gratitude for parents having done their jobs for free since March.

A MAN claiming freedom of speech is as risk from censorious leftists spends 18 hours a day vomiting his opinions all over social media.

A BLACK Lives Matter statue has appeared in Bristol where Edward Colston used to stand, and you’re pissed off. Here’s how to pretend it’s nothing to do with being racist.

CHILDREN have confirmed that the final week of homeschool before summer is even more bollocks than the final week of proper school.

IDIOTS are in universal agreement that not knowing anything is indeed the secret to eternal happiness.

TEACHERS say they do not want presents chosen by parents but would prefer a voucher so they can get something they actually like.

A MAN is not quite close enough to hold the door open for, it has been confirmed.

BACK in April, everyone and his wife opined about how lockdown would change Britain forever according to their tastes. But it was bollocks. Here are some examples.

A COUPLE about to spend half a million pounds on a house say life would be impossible without their gift of £15,000 from Rishi Sunak. 

YOU’VE been forced to interact with one of the middle-classes. But who are they? What do they want? Was that thing they said meant to be funny?