Society

A BUILDER has confirmed plans to abandon his van in a pub car park for the foreseeable future.

A MAN in his 40s has spent a whole dinner party looking through the window at the five-a-side goal in the back garden.

AN EX-COUPLE’S friends have rallied round during their break-up to try and make it all much worse.

THE UK is entering a new era of glory or is totally and utterly screwed, experts have confirmed.

A WOMAN has announced plans to start a mummy blog that will definitely be different from all of the others.

A SMARTPHONE’S autocorrect function can detect when its user is still drunk from the night before, it has emerged.

INSPIRATIONAL teachers have no place in Brexit Britain and will be scrapped, the government has confirmed.

A MAN has once again put the big light on despite knowing full well that his girlfriend prefers the lamps.

A MAN who recently took up meditation has gained spiritual insights that anyone could have thought of, it has emerged.

A COUPLE have welcomed their third child, who is clearly an accident although they are playing that down.