Society

THE ‘killer clown’ craze is either the result of complicated sociological factors or just twats arsing about, it has been claimed.

A MAN was forced to quickly shut his living room door after accidentally discovering his flatmate painting Warhammer figurines in the middle of the afternoon.

A CLAMPDOWN on internet trolls is forcing them to do their trolling in the real world, they have revealed.

THE misery and frustration of missing out on Glastonbury tickets is good training for life, delighted parents have confirmed.

A HIPSTER is angry that a woman he befriended before anyone else now has lots of other friends too.

LONDONERS are leaving the capital for Birmingham because it is the only city in Britain unpleasant enough for them to cope with.

A 10-YEAR-OLD boy has visited a real-life house of horrors where the television is sometimes turned off for hours at a time.

A LONDONER is struggling to come to terms with a wonderful Victorian building in his area that is still serving the purpose for which it was built. 

THE ‘liberal elite’ consists of anyone who has read a book out of choice, it has been confirmed.

A MAN gets a weird self-righteous buzz from talking about how screwed everything is.