Society

TWO-THIRDS of all immigrants were imprisoned on their home planet Krypton before escaping and heading to Britain, the Daily Mail has revealed.

AN EXPRESS reader is struggling to come to terms with his new reality after receiving a different newspaper by mistake.

AN OFFICE worker’s ID badge photo shows them 20 years ago when they thought they’d only be there six months.

MIDDLE CLASS pupils are not getting enough help to be the best at everything, say their parents.

A BOSS’S claim that his staff are like a family to him has collapsed under very little scrutiny.

BRUNCH is a massive load of wank, it has emerged.

A BUILDER has confirmed plans to abandon his van in a pub car park for the foreseeable future.

A MAN in his 40s has spent a whole dinner party looking through the window at the five-a-side goal in the back garden.

AN EX-COUPLE’S friends have rallied round during their break-up to try and make it all much worse.

THE UK is entering a new era of glory or is totally and utterly screwed, experts have confirmed.