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Politics

Cameron takes Clegg to TGI Fridays

PRIME minister David Cameron will treat not-prime minister Nick Clegg to a slap-up two-for-one meal to mark their first anniversary.

Downing Street releases picture of Clegg

PRIME minister David Cameron has released a photograph of the mangled remains of Nick Clegg.

AV opponents face Daily Mail dilemma

MILLIONS of decent, honest Britons today face the troubling prospect of being on the same side of an argument as the Daily Mail.

We would win if PR referendum used PR, says vote reform campaign

SUPPORTERS of proportional representation insist they would win the upcoming referendum on vote reform if it used proportional representation.

Cameron to tackle BNP by doing exactly what they want

DAVID Cameron is to halt the rise of the BNP by ensuring they have nothing to complain about.

EU agrees rescue package for Nick Clegg's feelings

THE European Union last night agreed a multi-billion pound bailout of Nick Clegg's storm-tossed emotions.

Letwin on to something

TORY bastard Oliver Letwin may have struck gold with his desire to confine the working class to their hellholes, it has been claimed.

Miliband grasping at straws

ED Miliband thinks getting married should do the trick, it has been confirmed.

Britain prefers anarchists to Miliband

BURNING Fortnum and Mason to the ground is a more credible alternative to the budget cuts than Ed Miliband, a survey has found.

Osborne hands average family £45 to give to British Gas

GEORGE Osborne will today let the average family look at £45 of their own money as it travels from the Treasury to British Gas.