Sport

FABIO Capello has responded to Michael Owen questioning his exile from the England squad by burning him a DVD of the last five years of his career.

TEAMS relegated on the final day of the Premier League season will only be replaced by different ones, it has emerged.

WITH the Premier League season about to climax over the nation's grateful visage, one's thoughts turn to those for whomst shame and sorrow will become constant companions.

WALES is to come face to face with fire on a stick.

WALES is to come face to face with fire on a stick.

WEST Ham supporters have admitted that the entire season has been a proper roast tomato.

CELTIC manager Neil Lennon was recovering last night after a frenzied goose attack.

MANCHESTER United can nearly claim to be the least incompetent team of the year.

MANCHESTER United have confirmed that their £1 ticket price increase was a calculated move based solely on their insatiable desire to annoy.

KENNY Dalglish has confirmed that Andy Carroll is still not a certainty to face a sea of confused-feeling Geordies this Sunday.