Sport

ADOLF Hitler was one of them Germans, experts claimed last night.

ENGLAND'S John Terry has said that it is time for the players to step up a gear in their gear-step-upping ahead of their game against Slovenia.

THE body of chess genius Bobby Fischer will be exhumed using the classic 'Trompowsky Desecration', it was confirmed last night.

NORTH Koreans were celebrating last night after their team's long-predicted 8-0 thrashing of decadent capitalist Brazil.

FIFA was banned from its own World Cup last night after giving millions of pounds worth of publicity to an unofficial product.

MANUFACTURERS of shoddy effigies that are hung outside scary pubs last night said they were desperate for John Terry to make England's next catastrophic error.

MANUFACTURERS of shoddy effigies that are hung outside scary pubs last night said they were desperate for John Terry to make England's next catastrophic error.

By Tony SopranoSO I was in the Bing the other day with the guys - Paulie, Silv and that fat fuck Bobby. We started talkin' about what team's gonna win this fuckin' World Series Cup they're playing over in South Africa. Anyways, Christopher walks in with a box of Cannoli...

By Tony SopranoSO I was in the Bing the other day with the guys - Paulie, Silv and that fat fuck Bobby. We started talkin' about what team's gonna win this fuckin' World Series Cup they're playing over in South Africa. Anyways, Christopher walks in with a box of Cannoli...

A LOCAL community has been banned from painting an England flag on the side of a building just because they want to use the blood of dead Argentinians for the red bits.