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Blair Tells Brown 'I'm Getting The Friends'
TONY Blair has announced the timetable for the run-up to the declaration of the date by which he will reveal the time of the announcement of the confirmation of his final split from his long-term companion Gordon Brown.
Salmond Demands Separate Scottish Eurovision Entry
SNP Leader Alex Salmond has provoked the first constitutional crisis of the new parliament by demanding Scotland have its own entry in the Eurovision song contest.
Prince Philip 'Delighted' With New Balls
PRINCE Philip has announced that he is 'absolutely thrilled' with his new set of balls.
Sarkozy Cuts Lunch Breaks To Eight Hours
FRENCH president-in-waiting Nicolas Sarkozy yesterday unveiled his radical plans for a social revolution in France including a cut in the lunch break from nine to eight hours.
Scotland Marks Start Of National Drinking Season
NATIONAL Drinking Season kicked-off in spectacular fashion over the bank holiday weekend with more than 125,000 arrests and pandemonium across the country.
Salmond Offers To Buy Nicol Stephen A Pony
ALEX Salmond has extended the hand of friendship to Lib Dem leader Nicol Stephen by offering to buy him a beautiful pony named 'Brambles'.
Mcconnell Barricades Himself Inside Bute House
FIRST Minister Jack McConnell has barricaded himself inside his official residence and is refusing to leave.
Mr Salmond's 'Independent Contraption' Will Never Burrow To The Centre Of The Earth
April 26, 1897, Edinburgh
Sirs,
It is with the utmost urgency that I write to you, my fellows of the Royal Society of Scotland, to alert you to the danger posed by Mr A Salmond and his proposal to build a steam driven contraption with the intention of burrowing to the centre of the Earth.