the dailymash

The Archbishop of Canterbury on... what sort of dick would pay £1,600 for a pint with Sting?

WAKING up with a hangover that, if it escaped from my skull, would probably melt through the earth to Australia like a nuclear incident, I look back on my campaign to establish a controversial new saint’s day.

What employers want to see on your LinkedIn profile: A guide for Conservative MPs

ARE you a Conservative MP worried about job security? Learn how to stand out from millions of other jobseekers desperate for work with this guide.

Changing leader again would be funny, Tories assured

THE electorate has reassured the Conservatives they would find a change of leader both desperate and hilarious.

10 albums that are best-selling because people are vacant, undiscerning sheep

FLEETWOOD Mac’s Rumours has been named the best-selling album of all time, so well done them. But many other LPs have sold tens of millions despite being f**king terrible. Like these:

Baby Reindeer latest show to confuse morons who think television is real

How I'll replace Klopp and rebuild Liverpool, by Billie Eilish

POP megastar Billie Eilish has announced an 81-date world tour. But she’s not bothered about that. Instead here is her plan for bringing the glory days back to her beloved Liverpool FC.

'It's a lovely sunny day here,' says someone 300 miles away as if that's surprising

A COLLEAGUE 300 miles away in an entirely different part of Britain has expressed surprise that the weather is different there.

Temu, and other brands which you aren't sure what they are but they seem dodgy as f**k

KEEP hearing people talking about their ‘Shein hauls’ and don’t know what the hell they’re on about? You’re probably confused and suspicious about these other brands too.