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A confused Millennial tries to… save a house deposit
DID you know you can buy your own property? Me neither, until all my friends with rich, generous parents started doing it. Even some of the less well-off ones have done it, but only if they moved to Newport, wherever that is.
Porn ruined by surprise Brummie accent
AN otherwise enjoyable online sex clip has been ruined by the sudden and unexpected sound of a Birmingham accent, it has emerged.
Trip to office printer like a little holiday
WALKING to the office printer to make some copies is as fun and relaxing as a fortnight in the Lake District, it has been confirmed.
Lancashire still trying to pretend it has Yorkshire levels of identity
LANCASHIRE is still attempting to convince people it has the same cultural clout as its geographical neighbour and bitter rival, it has emerged.
Trump election campaign confident of victory after portents of doom strike America
DONALD Trump’s campaign team are confident in their chances of electoral success as an earthquake and a solar eclipse foreshadow great evil coming to the US.
Your astrological week ahead for April 6th, with Psychic Bob
You hate the taste of mint humbugs, but you eat them because they look like baby tapirs. And those fuckers should know their place.
Couple conceive second child as long-term investment to stop first one hassling them
A COUPLE are having a second child because they are already bored rigid of having to play with their first one, they have confirmed.
We ask you: does Netflix's dramatisation of the Prince Andrew interview prove his innocence once and for all?
SCOOP, a dramatisation of Prince Andrew’s infamous 2019 Newsnight interview, has the whole world wondering if they judged him too harshly. What’s your view?
- All tips go directly to our CEO, restaurant chain promises
- Thames Water to be owned by China just as Thatcher wanted
- The Archbishop of Canterbury on... Richard Dawkins, 'cultural Christian' or smug rodent tit?
- 'I've always hated you': What your friend said in their deleted WhatsApp message
- 'Oh what, like you've never sent a hostile foreign power nudes?' says Tory MP