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How to be more outraged by a U-turn than you were by the original policy

SICKENING Labour policies hurting ordinary pensioners are bad enough, but U-turning on them? That’s unforgivable. Keep your ire at the appropriate levels with this guide.

The woman's guide to giving an Oscar-worthy orgasm performance on a weeknight

THERE’S a lot to do on a Tuesday – work, children, determinedly not drinking – and an inept eating-out costs valuable scrolling time. Use these tips and you’ll soon be accepting Best Simulated Orgasm with a tearful speech:

Woman sets minimum height on Tinder to six foot eight to be done with it

A WOMAN has set the minimum height she will accept in a partner to 6ft 8ins so she never has to think about it ever again.

Man who hates clubbing goes clubbing to meet women who hate clubbing

A MAN who loathes dancing with sweaty strangers in a dark room has gone to a club to meet women who would rather be anywhere else.

New Pulp album largely about erectile dysfunction

AN acclaimed new album by Pulp focuses on the age-appropriate subject of erectile dysfunction for nine of its 11 tracks.

Six technologies that have ruined being a dickhead teenager

GROWING up pre-internet provided a wealth of opportunities to aggravate your family and community that technology has snatched away.

Straight woman is bi for Pride month

A WOMAN has vowed to be a good ally by being bisexual for the entirety of Pride month.