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Shitty GCSE English texts, ranked
WAS the last proper book you ever read one you were forced to by teachers when you were 16? These GSCE texts killed your love of literature for life.
How to be that dick in the park annoying everyone with his Temu drone
WE have all seen him, admired him and wondered what it takes to become him: the tit buzzing his budget drone around a public park. Follow these rules.
Love Island contestants, ranked by minor deviations from clone-like conformity
LOVE Island is back, and this summer’s contestants are the most homogenous yet. Here they are in ascending order of tiny slivers of individuality.
Starmer pledges to make Britain as battle-ready as it is at 11.30pm on Friday in a kebab queue
THE prime minister has asked his country to be as up for a fight as it is every Friday evening after eight pints and a kebab, but geopolitically.
Disappointing breasts: A woman’s guide to coping
PLANNED for melons, but ended up with cherry pips and a Wonderbra? You’re as disappointed as the men you’re dating. This advice offers minimal comfort.
Teenage boy watching lots of Pride Month-appropriate content
A TEENAGE boy is up in his room furiously streaming content that reflects the values of Pride Month.
- This week in Mash History: shoddy British sci-fi show hopes viewers don't notice lead actor swap, 1966
- Danny Dyer's father of the bride speech, in full
- Why hawking whiskey sold by criminals is the only path to salvation for the West, by Liz Truss
- Billie Piper already dad's favourite Doctor Who
- 'Cool' teacher actually fully grown adult seeking approval of 15-year-olds