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Wogan To Host BBC Snitch-Athon
SIR Terry Wogan and Gaby Roslin are to host a massive ‘snitch-athon’ to encourage the general public to inform on their friends, neighbours and colleagues.
Brown 'Frantic With Worry' Over State Of Britain's Lawns
THE long spell of wet weather has prompted Prime Minister Gordon Brown to order a full-scale review of the nation's lawns.
'Blair Stood On His Desk Shouting War! War! War!'
TONY Blair's decision to go to war in Iraq, "couldn't have been easier", according to his former spin doctor Alastair Campbell.
Wimbledon To Play Several Matches On Same Court To Clear Backlog
WIMBLEDON is to start playing up to three matches on the same court at the same time in a bid to clear the backlog caused by the bad weather.
Brown To Have Union Jack Tattooed Across His Buttocks
PRIME Minister Gordon Brown is to have the union flag tattooed across his buttocks in a bid to rally the nation in the face of terror.
James Blunt To Be Sacrificed In Spectacular Live Earth Finale
SINGER-songwriter James Blunt is to be sacrificed in a symbolic gesture of climate change solidarity at the end of this weekend's Live Earth spectacular.
Taxman Gets Power To Hold You Upside Down
THE Inland Revenue is to get new powers to hold people upside down and shake them until all the money falls out of their pockets.