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What I'm hoping to get from the statutory inquiry into grooming gangs, by a wildly unrealistic right-wing man

FINALLY Starmer has bowed to public pressure and set up a national inquiry into grooming gangs. And from there, believes Martin Bishop, these actions are inevitable.

Man finds out on Monday what he did at drinks on Friday

A MAN has arrived at his office prompt and early on Monday morning to be informed of what took place late and intoxicated on Friday evening.

How to get someone to f**k off away from your desk and let you work

THE key office skillset is not implementing core competencies or working the printer. It’s persuading twats to piss off back to their twat desks with twat bobbleheads on.

Your astrological week ahead for June 14th, with Psychic Bob

The first casualty of war is truth. The second is Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

Funny ties, and other Father's Day gifts now made sadly obsolete

TOKEN gifts for fathers were so easy in times gone by, when a Simpsons tie did the job perfunctorily enough for no messy emotions to be bared on either side. These were adequate.

We ask you: are you fulfilling your patriotic duty by fancying Liz Hurley at 60?

ELIZABETH Hurley is sixty and still sexy. Are you standing up for Britain by still finding her immeasurably attractive, and if not why not?

The Archbishop of Canterbury on… pot calls kettle an attention-seeking narcissist

WAKING up with a hangover so intense and impactful it caused my dog to vomit, I reflect on the week’s diverting events.