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We ask you: who are you making a hate crime complaint about?
SCOTS holding grudges are rushing to make hate crime complaints under new laws. Who are you reporting to the authorities?
Will you get laid before the election? A quiz
BRITAIN is due a general election this year and you’re overdue a bout of bedroom activity. But given widespread reluctance to call either, which will happen first?
How to write a celebrity lingerie article for the Daily Mail: A tutorial
AS the shining light of British journalism, the Daily Mail leads the way in stories depicting celebrities modelling underwear. How do they achieve excellence time after time?
Post Office blames postmasters for counterfeit stamps, bad weather and the decline of the Arctic Monkeys
THE Post Office has announced that counterfeit stamps, heavy rain and the Arctic Monkeys’ recent loungecore albums are all postmasters’ fault.
Pervert GP prescribes sex to couple trying for baby
A TAXPAYER-funded GP has made the depraved suggestion that a couple trying to conceive a child should have frequent sexual intercourse.
Gammon would still shag Team GB flag if it was up for it
A PATRIOT outraged by the Team GB flag would still give it one if it gave him the eye, he had admitted.
- Scottish police to look like dicks either way
- Do your in-laws secretly think you're a twat?
- Badgers still unable to cross a f**king road
- 'The females don their cock deely-boppers for the ritual to commence': Sir David Attenborough narrates a hen party
- 'Pre-loved' sounds like someone's f**ked it, agrees everyone