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Trump to wake up, find out Israel has done what he expressly forbid them to do, be okay with it

THE world nervously awaits Donald Trump waking, being told Israel has unilaterally launched drones at Iran, yawning and moving on.

'Yeah, it'll be chill' says teenager about to work three 16-hour shifts at festival

A TEENAGER bragging that he is basically being paid to check out some cool bands is about to enter his own personal hell.

How I know you don't like what I'm wearing. By your girlfriend

WHEN you're getting ready for a night out, can your girlfriend supernaturally sense you don’t like her outfit? Here she explains what you've done without knowing it.

A white home counties roadman goes on a class trip to Chessington World of Rank

WAGWAN? Man ’as been on a rollercoaster ride, fam, literally and megaphorically. Active J woz bare uninspired to swag at a toddler theme park, called Chessington Worlds of Hadventure.

A warm community of regulars: British pub cliches that have never been true

JEREMY Clarkson’s new ‘100 per cent British’ pub has dared play American music, but the British love of the pub has always been based on myths.

The cost of Rachel Reeves's spending spree based on how much you hate her

THE chancellor yesterday outlined a government spending spree of either £113bn, £300bn, or £4 trillion, depending on the strength of your loathing for her. Which are you?

'You're sweet' and other compliments which mean 'you are of no sexual interest to me'

UNSURE if you’re being chatted up or consigned to the friend zone? These telling phrases mean it will never, ever turn physical between you.