the dailymash

A warm community of regulars: British pub cliches that have never been true

JEREMY Clarkson’s new ‘100 per cent British’ pub has dared play American music, but the British love of the pub has always been based on myths.

The cost of Rachel Reeves's spending spree based on how much you hate her

THE chancellor yesterday outlined a government spending spree of either £113bn, £300bn, or £4 trillion, depending on the strength of your loathing for her. Which are you?

'You're sweet' and other compliments which mean 'you are of no sexual interest to me'

UNSURE if you’re being chatted up or consigned to the friend zone? These telling phrases mean it will never, ever turn physical between you.

Half-closing the curtains, and other ways to deter burglars while you're away

GOING on holiday? Cunningly preparing your house so burglars will believe it’s occupied and go home with swag bags empty? They’ll never expect this.

Britain excited for rough sleeping to be decriminalised so it can have a go

England fans happy German lost

Twix advert banned for showing man sticking in both fingers at once like a f**king animal

A TWIX advert has been banned for breaching obscenity law by showing a man consuming both fingers simultaneously and loving it.

Musk asking Grok how to unf**k his life

ELON Musk has turned to his AI chatbot for advice on how to reverse his fortunes, it has emerged.