the dailymash

'You’re shop-soiled goods by age 30': Your own mum or an online incel? Guess the quote

WERE these offensive nuggets of misogyny offered to you by an internet stranger who despises the idea of female empowerment, or your sweet old mum? Take the quiz.

Museums should have pubs instead of gift shops, nation agrees

THE people of Britain agree that museums would be vastly improved by swapping out their gift shops with little pubs.

Duolingo, and other stressful app reminders that can f**k off

SMARTPHONE apps were meant to make life easier but instead add to the general anxiety of it by harassing you constantly. Like these ones.

Seven terrible things about London, the city I hate, by mayoral candidate Susan Hall

LONDON mayoral candidate Susan Hall has been criticised for a campaign based on unhinged attacks on Sadiq Khan and appearing to hate the capital. Here she shares a last rant before losing.

We don't care who we send to Rwanda, says Home Office

Driver generously allows humble pedestrians to cross road with regal hand gesture

A BENEVOLENT motorist has permitted a group of pedestrians to cross the road with a noble flourish of his wrist.

Man waxing nostalgic about good old DVDs until he tries to watch one of the bastards

A MAN raving about the upsides of DVDs has been swiftly undone by the many headaches of actually trying to watch one, it has emerged.

Middle-aged women delighted by ugly modern fashions

MIDDLE-AGED women seeing 20-something girls dressed in cargo pants, faux fur gilets and bandanas have confirmed that they are delighted by how ugly modern fashions are.