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Mate in the group chat who never says anything died in 2019

A WHATSAPP group is the mourning the loss of one of its members after it was discovered his silence was not due to him ‘being shit at the bantz’, but because he is dead.

Age-gap relationships in films judged for their acceptability by a bloke

ANNE Hathaway’s new film centres on a 40-year-old woman romancing a younger man. Should we be supportive of such relationships, or are they doomed to fail? Tom Logan, 45, gives his verdict.

Mash Blind Date: Can Labour's newest MP and its former leader prove opposites attract?

SHE’S proudly right-wing and new to Labour. He served 46 years before being defenestrated. Will Natalie Elphicke and Jeremy Corbyn make love or war?

Not being a total f**king moron, and six other ways to avoid falling for a romance scammer

HAS 26-year-old Natalia slid into your DMs again? Horny for you, is she? Horny in a keeps-needing-money way? These rules will keep your bank account as untouched as your genitalia.

Fear that young people's mortgages will outlast their student loans

THE under-30s are entering into mortgage agreements so long they will have paid off their student loans before the end of them, estimates suggest.

Body positivity over, be skinny with big tits again, women told

WOMEN have been informed that body positivity’s time has passed and being thin with large breasts is their new look.

Workmate who saw Northern Lights putting on astounding display of smugness

YOUR colleague who witnessed the Aurora Borealis at the weekend is treating everyone to a once-in-a-lifetime display of smugness, it has emerged.

Six pop songs that will actually genuinely help you revise for your GCSEs

EXAMS looming? Left the revision too late? Got earbuds, a Spotify account and three-and-a-half minutes? These could scrape you a pass.

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