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How to be a strong leader everybody loves: Sunak's guide for Yousaf
HUMZA, buddy, I’ve just seen the news. Bad luck, mate. Not everyone can be universally adored like me. Want to know how I do it? I’ll let you into a few secrets.
Girlfriends keen to break snuggling-sex connection
GIRLFRIENDS have once again confirmed their desire to snuggle is unrelated to any desire to be penetrated with a penis.
Charlotte Church, and other celebs who stupidly didn't stay 12
‘WELSH songbird’ Charlotte Church has announced she is no longer a millionaire. Clearly growing up was a poor career choice that should have been avoided, as she and these other celebs discovered.
When Laurence Fox cannot call you a paedophile without being bankrupted, freedom is dead
IT IS every Englishman’s inalienable right, when defending himself on social media, to brand strangers paedophiles and gin up a mob.
Yellow by Coldplay, and other songs which justify taking money off a busker
CERTAIN songs are so annoying or inappropriate it’s only fair buskers lose earnings for playing them. Here are some it’s fine to dip into their guitar case for.
Swifties, and other fanbases that are certifiably f**king mental
DO you love Taylor Swift so much you send death threats to people who give her new album a vaguely unfavourable review? You are mad. Like these other obsessives.
Labour confirms they will do the bleeding obvious
LABOUR’S rail nationalisation plans have confirmed they are a party unafraid to do the entirely obvious thing if they feel it benefits Britain.
- Nigel Farage 'will be allowed to make love to Lee Anderson on air' - Ofcom
- Runaway London horses desperate to carve out media career
- Richard Osman to play all roles in adaptation of Richard Osman novel
- We ask you: will your children join Shapps and Sunak's fighting men?
- Man realises he would have bullied his teenage self too