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Moonwater Is Here!
ADVERTISING FEATURE
After many years of research, exploration and technological innovation MoonWater is now a reality.
We have worked tirelessly to bring you the HIGHEST QUALITY natural spring water all the way from the MOON.
Scots Tories Back Referendum On Existence Of Scots Tory Party
SENIOR Tories last night backed a referendum on whether the Scottish Conservative Party is real or a figment of Annabel Goldie's imagination.
Internet To Shut For Half-Day On Wednesdays
THE internet is to start closing for a half day on Wednesday afternoons to give it time to sit down and have a nice cup of tea, it announced yesterday.
Scots Demand Huge Increase In Global Warming
A MAJORITY of Scots are backing a total reliance on fossil fuels in a bid to deliver up to three months of t-shirt weather every year.
Iran To Perform Salman Rushdie Knighthood
IRAN last night offered to perform Sir Salman Rushdie's forthcoming knighthood ceremony saying recent television footage suggested the Queen was no longer "up to the job".
Caravan Club Celebrates One Millionth Traffic Jam
THE Caravan Club yesterday celebrated causing its one millionth traffic jam of this year’s holiday season, beating its own previous record by a full two weeks.
'Flash! Flash! I Love You! But We've Only Got 14 Hours To Save Dobbies From Tom Hunter!'
DOBBIES the garden centre was in mortal danger last night after the launch of a hostile takeover by Emperor Tom Hunter of the Planet Mongo.