the dailymash

Hannah Fry, and the other top candidates to be the thinking man's crumpet

RANDY intellectual types are on the lookout for a new muse now Rachel Riley has disgraced herself. These are the top candidates in the line of succession.

Man who can't grow beard not letting that stop him

A MAN who is only able to grow a few wisps of hair from the bottom of his face is not letting it stop him labelling himself as ‘bearded’, it has emerged.

Nicola Peltz, and other celebs so talentless going out with them would be a minefield

NICOLA Peltz, heiress and wife of Brooklyn Beckham, has had her vanity project film utterly demolished by critics. So if you were the partner of a no-talent celeb, how would you avoid the issue?

You can pay no attention to the Middle East and it makes no difference, study finds

Long-term sickness: is it as fun as the media make it sound?

MORE than 2.8 million Britons are living it up by being too ill to work, instead revelling in long, lazy days untroubled by responsibility. But is there a downside?

We will give every child a pack of fags on their 15th birthday, says Labour

THE opposition has defied the government’s smoking ban by pledging to give every child a pack of 20 cigarettes on their 15th birthday.

How to absolutely, comprehensively lose your shit if your child doesn't get their first-choice primary school

YOUR child has been condemned to educational subnormality and a career washing wheelie bins by being denied their first-choice primary. How should you freak out?

Girlfriend marks territory by leaving hair bobbles around boyfriend's flat

A MAN'S new girlfriend is asserting her presences and scaring away rivals by leaving hair ties in every room of his home.