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Is it a coincidence that everyone suddenly finds the 'love of their life' when they’re 35, tired and desperate? 

PEOPLE suddenly finding the ‘love of their life’ when they are 35, exhausted and realise they cannot afford to buy a house may not just be a big coincidence, experts have confirmed.  

Donald Trump's guide to styling out a flatulence problem

IT’S claimed that Donald Trump’s long hours in the courtroom are causing him to emit a large amount of anal gas. Here he explains how to minimise the embarrassment in various situations.

This week in Mash History: Londoner discovers places other than London, 1699

MODERN Londoners understand, in theory, there are cities outside London. Some intrepid explorers even visit them and return with wild tales of affordable housing and pints.

Experts confirm best way to work through relationship problems is to ignore them

COUNSELLORS have advised couples suffering issues in their relationships that if they ignore them completely they eventually go away.

Successful young person can f**k right off

A MAN decades younger than you who has already achieved more than you ever will can go and f**k himself, older generations have agreed.

Five drunk middle-aged women caterwauling through song was apparently Spice Girls reunion

A BARMAN at a London club has just found out the five pissed women he watched howl their way through a song was in fact a momentous 90s reunion.

Films so much better than books it's not even a contest

FILMS have surpassed books as a medium by so many orders of magnitude it is odd that books even exist, it has been agreed.

Slipknot, and six other bands which are now technically dadrock

BACK when nu-metal ruled the world you ruled with it, young and rebellious and your baseball cap backwards. Now you’re a dad and these bands are boring old dadrock.

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