the dailymash

US joining strikes on Iran and definitely isn't: five contradictory conclusions from Trump's latest bullshit

PRESIDENT Trump has issued a number of non-specific threats against Iran which the country and the world is trying to make sense of. These are the possibilities.

Samuel Smith's pubs far f**king freakier than Wetherspoons, UK agrees

BRITISH drinkers have agreed both Samuel Smith and Wetherspoons pubs are freakshows with an alcohol license but the former has the edge.

'Proposing to my girlfriend after a romantic dinner of Bombay Bad Boy': Readers share their treasured Poundland memories

POUNDLAND is closing 68 stores, leaving many Britons bereft without their beloved cheap shit retailer. They share their moving stories of how Poundland touched their lives.

Actor accepts abject failure and returns to EastEnders

I'm Bonnie Blue's boyfriend, and I have no idea

HELLO there! I’m Oliver O’Connor, a Nottingham primary school teacher, and this is my girlfriend Lucy Parry. But people keep shouting a different name at her in the street.

Britain asked to believe its police are fervent anti-racists

THE British public has been invited to believe its police forces are so passionately opposed to racism in any form they willingly cover up crimes.

Nap will either revitalise your day or totally f**k you up

A SHORT afternoon nap will either refresh and recharge you in just 20 minutes or leave you in a stumbling daze for the rest of the day, it has emerged.

Groom silent in wedding group chat

A WHATSAPP group about an upcoming wedding has featured contributions from the bride, bridesmaids, relatives, friends, ushers, the vicar and everyone but the groom.